Whether you’re a 50 year-old woman in search of a new start or a 16 year-old gap year student, solo female travel is one of the very best things that you will ever do.

I’m not talking about hooking up with some girlfriends and booking a package to Thailand but going somewhere – anywhere – new and exciting, by yourself. Whether it is one week or one year, solo female travel is, in my humble opinion, the greatest way to travel.

Solo female travel is about looking amazing, right?

If you google Solo Female Travel now, you will be bombarded by gorgeous Instagram images of glamorous glossy-haired yogis doing a perfect Warrior I pose in front of beautifully photoshopped temples.

STOP. Hang on, let’s be truthful here.

That’s a curated image offering a fake view of the world. That girl is paid to pose, that swimming pool is in a £500 a night hotel and hey, who is taking the photo if she’s travelling alone? Does she really backpack with a tripod and a designer yoga mat in her straw beach bag? This is not authentic solo female travel.

It’s time to be honest. Solo female travel is brilliant but its life-changing powers come more from building up your resilience to life’s shitty little annoyances (like loneliness and blisters) than some kind of magical spiritual awakening as you glaze through designer sunglasses at yet another picturesque sunset from the balcony of a deluxe suite.

What are my credentials to tell you the truth? How about that I’ve spent more than 3 years of my adult life travelling or living overseas solo. No buddies. No mates. Just me and my backpack.

Truth 1: You will meet some of the most interesting, diverse people you will ever meet by just smiling

When I did most of my solo female travel (before I met my partner, ten years ago) it was all a bit old school. If you needed to contact home, you had to find an internet café and possibly queue. So, it meant I was only doing this infrequently and detaching myself in this way added to my experiences.

Now, to contact home you just need a café and a Wi-Fi code. You could sit there all day scrolling through yards of endless crap and pretending my friends are Whatsapping me when really they are asleep (because it’s 3am at home). Unfortunately, this is what you see in traveller cafes these days, and people are ignoring each other instead of interacting.

So my point is SMILE. Turn off your phone/ tablet/ over-sized MacBook and walk into a buzzing café, bar, hostel, museum, restaurant, whatever and SMILE : )

If you’re worried about looking lost, lonesome – take a good paperback, a crossword puzzle, a deck of cards (Solitaire, anyone!?). So when that interesting person (with whom you’re about to have one of the best conversations of your whole life) walks in they don’t see a stranger texting their friends from home or possibly doing important, all-consuming online work on their laptop (really you’re just playing games – but how do they know). Instead, they see someone who looks up from their book and smiles, opening the way for a fantastic chat and possibly a life-changing encounter.

Author’s note: I met the father of my kids in a backpacker’s hostel in Bolivia! Evidence that smiling at strangers works!

One of the best things about solo female travel is not just meeting other backpackers who you have masses in common with. It’s usually more rewarding meeting alternative people who are locals or older or just different. I don’t really stumble across many ex-cons, tribal leaders, Mormons or full-time jugglers in my day-to-day life – but when I’m travelling I do!

Truth 2: Most of the time, you will be covered in crusty sea-salt, itchy mosquito bites, oozing blisters and sweat 

Yep, the hard-nosed truth is however beautiful you are (yep you really are gorgeous!) you will struggle to look like an Instagram yogi. Sunburn, mosquito bites, heat rash, salty sweat patches, bed bugs, sand flies, stinging nettles, dark circles from jetlag, stomach troubles and the dreaded horse fly will all cause you discomfort and pain.

Remember no real adventure has zero discomfort.

Even celebrities (with loads of money and private doctors) catch malaria, Lyme disease, heat stroke. Just check out your latest celebrity-shaming trashy magazine. The truth is no one is immune to pesky insect bites and/or extreme weather. Not even you.

Oh and for God’s sake, take out really good travel medical insurance. Don’t question this advice or I’ll have to share some horrendously tragic stories with you. Just do it.

Truth 3: Others may see you as vulnerable when really you’re at your bravest

This is one of those controversial points when people will argue that women who do solo female travel are as safe as men. My personal experiences (some traumatic, some comical) tell me that that is incorrect.

The world is still largely a patriarchy. Almost totally in some parts.

Solo female travellers to me (a woman of wanderlust and global experience) are strong, determined and brave adventuresses. I am one. However, in much of the world, to men and women, to young and old, I am seen as reckless, eccentric or lonely. I’m sad to write this but it is the truth.

I have been ignored, heckled, befriended, groped, dismissed, challenged, belittled and mothered by both men and women just for being a solo female traveller. And not just by the locals! I’ve walked into many a backpackers’ hostel and been straight away perceived as ‘fresh meat’ by fellow male backpackers. Local women have often approached me to warn me of crime or danger in their towns and villages.

Like Cheryl Strayed mentions in Wild (amazing book, read it) us girls get more favours, more help, more lifts than our male backpacking counterparts but… it is at a cost… it is because a very significant amount of people still perceive us as weaker and/or more vulnerable than the other 50% of the world’s population.

Truth 4: You will probably have experiences that make you imagine your own death

The edge of the seat thrill of a night-time bus ride through South Asian jungles; the intensity of the waves splashing into and pounding onto an overloaded speedboat; the strange noises outside your hotel room in a seedy part of town; that tiny misstep on the slippery, craggy, rocky side of a steep mountain.

Some South American bus companies list the number of accidents that they had had that month on bus station boards! Was that really going to put my mind at ease? Our catamaran captain in Colombia told us that if we fell overboard that we only had a 20% chance of survival.  I also met other solo female travellers who had been robbed, raped, kidnapped, threatened with guns and machetes. Travelling through certain countries will increase your risk of being the victim of crime. Being a solo female traveller will increase your risk of sexual assault. Travelling by boat will increase your risk of drowning. These are truths but they are not certainties.

Travel is full of risks. Travel is full of worry.

Innumerable times have I started having nightmares about being hijacked on South American night buses, robbed on a deserted beach or feared being trampled by elephants at an unprotected African campsite. This makes solo female travel exciting and adventurous and addictive. Be cautious, be sensible but be brave.

You will always have worries. You must embrace these worries. Take the precautions you need. But be brave and go forward.

Truth 5: Western culture will begin to seem faddy, unsustainable and biased.

There will come a point on your travels, possibly deep in a Bolivian jungle or out at sea on a yacht or on a camel in a desert or a tribal village in Kenya or Laos or even in a medieval French walled town when you suddenly think – what’s so great about modern Western culture?

Where exactly is contemporary Western capitalism taking me? Do I really need to sit in an air-conditioned office barely seeing daylight just so that I can own a bigger car or better hairdryer?

Is it really ok that this abundant and luscious rainforest is being destroyed to grow palm oil just so take I can choose from twenty varieties of cheap shampoo and eat processed food of zero nutritional value?

Should I really accept that the objectification and sexualisation of women in Western media has led to a handful of men (particularly in certain countries) thinking of Western women as ‘easy prey’ or that it’s ok to ‘sell’ daughters off for marriage to Western men or urban brothels?

Why does the community spirit in this small, remote village fill me with more joy than street upon street of new hipster bars selling overpriced artisan beer in London?

In short, when you do solo female travel you will have more opportunities to philosophise, gaze at the stars, and delve into the problems of local communities. When I travel with my partner or with my family, I admit we do have a group mentality. We gaze inwards, more than outwards. We gaze at each other, not at the stars.

This leads me neatly to…

Truth 6: Loneliness is not a weakness but an opportunity

This truth ties in with Truths 1, 3 and 5. Loneliness is often seen as a negative. Being alone can be a blessing or a curse. It depends on the situation, your perception of it and how you think others perceive it. When you do solo female travel, you’ve chosen to be alone. Sometimes, it will feel amazing and even spiritual to wander by yourself along deserted sandy shores or explore bustling cities at your own pace. Sometimes, you will feel desperately alone and far away from everyone who knows and loves you especially on special days or if something bad happens. Your personality will play a big part in how to deal with being alone. Introverts may happily spend weeks in the wilderness connecting with nature whereas more sociable people prone to negative self-talk may struggle to listen to only their inner voice for an hour, let alone a whole day.

I remember so many times being surrounded by happy family groups on beaches, in parks, or eating alone in restaurants. For me, it helped to think of myself as a silent observer (an anthropologist maybe) studying locals, learning from them. Sometimes I just closed my eyes and listened to music or delved back into my book. Being alone can be a lonely business but it can also be the making of you. As a mum, alone time is my absolute luxury and I can’t believe how I fought it in my 20s!

Truth 7: You will awaken some senses irrevocably.

Ever since I first did solo female travel, I have lusted after exotic cuisines. The taste, the sight, the smell, the texture of burning spices, sizzling pots of street food, sticky, oozy buns or roasting coffee beans.

Even now, if I hear a certain rhythm it will take me right back to a perfect memory of a night on the warm balcony of a bamboo hut in Laos drinking local rice wine with new friends or dancing the night away in a Brazilian favela party.

When you do solo female travel, you have to hold on to all these memories, sights and sounds by yourself. There will be no one to remind you, to say ‘remember that time we…’ Instead, it’s your responsibility, your job to hold on to the memories and make sure that you keep those magnificent moments alive. Take lots of photos, write journals, blog, download songs that evoke memories, learn to cook dishes you discovered, buy souvenirs. For your own sake, don’t forget or compartmentalise your travels. Keep them alive.

Stuck at home on a rainy day with the children, I still put on carnival music and dance wildly in my kitchen, imagining my 23-year old self having the time of her life! Travel helped make me who I am today, I’m happiest when I keep those magical memories alive.

Need some inspiration on how to keep your travel memories alive around the house? Check out Family Travel Memories: 5 ways to keep them alive!

So there are the 7 truths about solo female travel. Seven truths that remind us that solo female travel is an awesome, character-building and often life-changing experience punctuated by necessary doses of danger, discomfort and loneliness.

Tell your daughters and encourage your mothers to be brave, be strong and fly solo towards the sun but make sure they pack some insect repellent!

When you travel alone…
You will meet life and life will meet you