Breastfeeding is kind of freaky at first… especially in a foreign country.

Here’s a weird fact about me: I’ve been breastfeeding for three out of the last four years.

Yep, my nipples have on display, dripping with milk, engorged or just plain sore for 1095 days out of the last 1460, through two babies and 25 overseas trips!

I hated breastfeeding when I first started breastfeeding my newborn son in late 2013. And I think it is the duty of every feminist (male, female, parent or non-parent) to realise that sometimes breastfeeding can suck (so to speak)!

H didn’t latch on well (that’s technical speak for suck properly). I had to contort myself into strange positions and for 45 minutes (yep that long) he would fidget away on my red nipples. Kicking away privacy blankets. Eventually we switched to mixed feeding: bottles and breast until he just said ‘no’. My wholesome, nurturing boobies rejected for a plastic bottle of mixed white chemicals and proteins.

Breastfeeding whilst travelling

Our few trips away whilst H was still ‘on the boob’ are full of memories. Moments of him vomiting up all his milk on the floor of restaurants in San Marino (he had reflux, poor mite), of him freaking out at the breast at al fresco cafes in Florence, sitting inside cars breastfeeding looking at Icelandic glaciers as he’d be too distracted if we went somewhere more comfortable. I’d spend hours of pre-trip research trying to figure out if breastfeeding was socially acceptable.

So I decided that breastfeeding whilst travelling was too much. The lack of privacy and risk of (tit) exposure. The glances of disgust. I thought every old man was avoiding eye contact and was getting what I assumed were sad, pitying looks from the older ladies. The loneliness of sitting in the back of dark cafes or staying in the car. The urgency of ‘he’s hungry’ and knowing that it was totally my responsibility. Breastfeeding in public for me – in the UK or overseas – was a chore to be endured. It was a relief to ditch the maternity bras.

But breastfeeding got easier…

Along came my daughter and breastfeeding became a breeze.

After a traumatic birth, baby Zizi popped into the world in 2015. I was ushered into the baby resuscitation room at 3am in the morning, I picked her up out of her incubator and showed her my nipple and hey, she’s been on it ever since.

Even for me, this is surprising and slightly odd.

She’s a big girl now, about to hit her second birthday – but she likes it and it’s free and healthy.

She also likes chocolate buttons so I have to pick my battles carefully.

I learnt that when you have your second child and your first is still a toddler, you just have to get on with it. Suddenly I was breastfeeding in icy play parks, topping her feed up with her in a sling and chasing after a run-down toddler with her still firmly attached.

Breastfeeding on the road

Four months in, we went on our first extended family trip. I breastfed Zizi on the steps of ancient Mayan temples in the Yucatan and in beach bars in my bikini. In Californian shopping malls and on craggy rocks overlooking the Big Sur.

In four months on the road with baby at the boob, I only got ONE comment. A woman approached when I was breastfeeding in a playground in Corona, California. “That is SO great,” she exclaimed. I peered around nervously – was she talking to me? “It SO great to see you nursing in public. Well done!” Bemused in a decidedly embarrassed British way, I listened as she explained that she was a lactation nurse and she found it hard to encourage local women to breastfeed openly. I left feeling chuffed that two babies in – I was working towards a virtual ‘world ambassador for breastfeeding’ badge.

What if you’re not sure about breastfeeding whilst travelling…

Currently at home in the UK, there seems to be a slight backlash against the government’s ‘Breast is best’ indoctrination. I breastfed both my children and both experiences were unique in terms of pain, length and ease. As more of my friends have babies I try to be supportive wherever the lactation journey takes them. Many of my friends have enjoyed it but for others it just hasn’t worked out for various physical, psychological or just cultural reasons. I think either way is fine and they are all fantastic mothers, whether breast or bottle feeding.

Breastfeeding has to be a choice for all women – not a must, not a policy

I love the natural, wholesome, earthy connection of mother and child through the passing of nourishment. I love the deep milky link between my almost two year old and my boobies. She doesn’t need milk anymore. It’s her choice. I will respect her choice until she decides that she no longer wants to be fed.

But, if like my son, breastfeeding doesn’t work out then we (all of us – health professionals, fathers, friends, and onlookers) have to offer our unconditional, non-judgemental and wholehearted support to the mother. We have to stand up and strong – against the shamers and blamers who try and tell us, mothers, that there is only one way to raise a baby.

Feminism is about choices for men and women. Choices that should make us feel more equal. Denying bottle feeding takes fathers, grandparents, other carers out of the picture. It pressurizes the mother and reinforces rigid gender expectations in an age when bottle milk can be on par nutritionally to breast milk. In an age where there are multiple options.

Let’s get back to travelling… breastfeeding on the road is easier right?

Well, yes if you can breastfeed then yes, it’s so much easier.

I’ve done both.

Breastfeeding is FREE (woo hoo). The milk is always ready, at the right temperature, your breast is (I hope) pretty clean. You can’t leave your breasts at home by mistake.

There are downsides though. Like last weekend in Minsk, Belarus when we did a trip without the little ones. I was standing in a hot shower for 20 minutes trying to knead out milk from my engorged and painful boobies. Any nursing mother who had mastitis will tell you – it’s not all plain sailing.

On the other side of the argument, formula brings as many (if not more) travelling woes. I have first-hand experience of trying to sterilise bottles in hotel rooms, paying for extra baggage allowance to pack bottles of pre-mixed formula, of the crusty milk glop going rancid in unfinished beakers on long, hot car journeys.

The flip side is that sometimes it can be challenging to expose your stinging nipple on a frozen bench in an icy train station. Sometimes you decide that the curious old men in the Cypriot plaza just don’t need an impromptu lesson in social equality from a flustered British tourist baring half her left boob to a screaming baby.

Sometimes breastfeeding in public just feels wrong. Socially. Culturally. Psychologically.

I guess the answer is be open-minded. Be flexible. Compromise when you feel you need to.

Every country, every region, every town and every street will have a different perspective on breastfeeding in public. In hip old San Francisco whipping out my booby felt as natural as sporting a nose ring. Cool, on trend and totally at one with my body. In Jamaica, I was as discreet as I could be as I just couldn’t gauge the reaction. In Morocco or Dubai, I would avoid breastfeeding in public area even though Dubai has pro-breastfeeding legalisation. I’d want to be respectful of other people in the area. I’d plan bottles or privacy breaks into our days out. I’d be culturally appropriate.

As world travellers, we should try not to offend or embarrass locals or even other tourists. Whether we are strong pro-breastfeeding activists in our home countries or hide behind a thick blanket, we do need to think about our actions in other countries.

Ultimately, if you want to breastfeed a few month old baby who is nourished solely by your mother milk on a two week trek through a socially conservative or very religious country you’re going to need to do some research and make some compromises. I would switch some daytime / public feeds to formula, plan privacy breaks or simply express my breastmilk in advance.

Alternatively, if you’re going to Disneyland – then go learn your world breastfeeding ambassador badge!

Breastfeed like the locals do

To wrap it up, breastfeeding whilst travelling is great if it works out but if it doesn’t you’re still an awesome woman and mother. Feeding your baby / toddler/ child when travelling is always going to be a mission that needs military planning, a 10kg bag of snacks and a billion baby wipes.

If your little one is still on the breast then take a moment to see what the locals do. As a general rule of thumb, be discreet but confident of your choices in Western countries and resorts. Elsewhere, do your research and respect the locals.

Oh and remember the only comment I’ve ever got was a resoundingly positive: “That’s SO great!”

Keen to start travelling with your baby? Check out 11 reasons why your baby is the best travel companion ever.